I just want to say that I fell in love with Rent when I first saw it many many years ago. I was all about the tent city and the squatters staying in their space. I was all about saying “Fuck you” to Benny and his razzle dazzle offer.
Maybe it’s that I’m getting older, but my opinion has completely changed.
Benny was not the bad guy.
Here’s this guy telling his friends that he can hook them up with a fancy movie studio, where they can do all their work without someone looking over their shoulder at their creative choices. And free rent, too.
But Roger and Mark say, “No, Screw you Benny! We like our angst.” And instead, Mark takes a job at a sleazy tabloid where he is miserable because although he is shooting a lot, he is told how to shoot it, what the story is, what he should include and not include, etc.
I had a dream last night related to this, and I thought about Benny and how in my younger days I would have said no to him, thinking that that choice was noble in some way, which totally doesn’t make sense to me now.
Being a starving artist is both a choice and a reflexive habit, but I think the same people that find nobility in being a starving artist, would completely change their ways if they saw what was keeping them starving. It’s not nobility, it’s bad choices. I’ve seen it in my own life and I’ve seen it in others. It’s saying no to the giftings the universe brings. It’s a safe, attractive label to take on when things get too zippy and the universe actually grants exactly what they want. Or worse, the universe grants them what they want and they fuck it up by being irresponsible.
The ironic thing is that starving artists rarely have time to do their art. They’re too busy working to pay rent, and rarely can afford their artistic endeavors, which cost money.
And then all those starving artists look at other people doing what they want to do and making money from it, and call them sell outs. That’s bullshit. That’s exactly what Mark became after he took the job at the tabloid. Not because it was a tabloid, but because he didn’t enjoy what he was doing.
So therefore… Benny was right. He made a generous offer and he was snubbed.
I pray the universe guide me to always give a resounding yes to the Bennys in my life. I pray the universe help me to get out of my own way.
And I pray the same for you, whatever your circumstance may be.
Peace.
